Say It Ain't So Jessie! Jessie James Apologizes to Wife Sandra Bullock And Kids

Well the entertainment rumor mill, gossip blogosphere and everywhere else was reporting that Jesse James allegedly had an 11 month affair on his wife Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock with a heavily tatted up woman named Michelle "Bombshell" McGhee. I guess "Bombshell" describes what happens to your life if you fuck or engage in hot bangins with this bitch. I was really hoping this story was false because I personally think Jesse James is a cool guy who turned his life around and became a rich American success story about what happens when you work hard and put your heart and soul into what you do. His wife Sandra Bullock is easily the single coolest actress in Hollywood. To personally pick up a Razzie Award for worst actress on the same weekend when you win your Academy Award Best Actresss Award speaks of her coolness. Most Hollywood actresses would have simply blown off and/or talked trash about the Razzies. She's laid back and takes things in stride. She makes good movies and is just plain personable, the kind of woman that everyone loves.

Well TMZ, Radar Online, and others are reporting that today Jesse James issued a statement of apology to his kids and to his wife Sandra Bullock, who allegedly moved out of their house together this week. As reported by Radar Online, Jesse said, "It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me." Wow. Just fucking wow.

Jesse did go on to say that the "vast majority" of the allegations were "untrue and unfounded" but if so, what the fuck is he apologizing for if he did not engage in inappropriate behavior and against the marriage with his wife. To me this smacks of that intial bullshit statement that Tiger Woods made last December also apologizing to his family about "transgressions" before his whole fucking world blew up and was forced into hiding, sex addiction treatment and an eventual ego destroying tail-between-your-legs full blown and detailed apology on national tv. If Jesse did cheat, and it kinda sounds like he did, what a spectacular fuck up. Seriously, Sandra Bullock is flat-out gorgeous, one the sexiest, most talented and successful women in the entire entertainment industry and she is rich as shizzle to boot. If you cheat on a woman who has the looks and body of a Victoria Secrets model, the class of a member of royalty, a sense of humor like a comedian and has hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank like Sandra Bullock, you deserve for the Almighty himself to shoot a thunderbolt up your ass DAILY. Jesse will NEVER find another woman like Sandra Bullock EVER again. I don't know if he will have to buy a bowling ball sized diamond ring like Kobe Bryant did or go to some sex addiction treatment center like Tiger Woods or both but if I were him I would be hiring a consultant to advise on some serious and expensive ego-busting ass-kissing to his wife Sandra.

Just for the record, if you are going to cheat, why do all these famous dudes who can have anyone choose the skankiest women possible to cheat with. If the woman were a Victoria Secrets model or Sports Illustrated swimsuit model then I can kind of see it but when the alleged mistress looks like a human display for a tattoo convention and is ugly to boot, it is just sad. Seriously, how good could that pussy have been to risk Sandra and her fortune? Did sparks shoot out of ass? Did that poon tang transport your dick to the land of jizz and honey? I would seriously like to know how I can get my hand on some risk-everything-you-have-because-the-pussy-is-that-good pussy. I know I could not afford it like Jesse or Tiger but maybe I can lease it or maybe put it on lay-away or something.

Oh well. I hope Jesse and Sandra work out everything. If not, there will be an army of dudes waiting to take over your place with Sandra my man.