Two and a Half Men Star and Drug & Hooker Magnate Charlie Sheen Is Officially the Biggest Asshole in Hollywood History

Charle Sheen as drug dude in
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

“Two and Half Men Star”, drug magnate and porn star & hooker aficionado Charlie Sheen has officially lost his fucking mind. After making a round of interviews with crazed ramblings that made Libyan ruler Moammar Gadhafi’s insane ramblings actually look sane in comparison, everyone is abandoning support of him and is now the subject of pure scorn the world over. Radar Online outscored the world in a fantastic interview that showed what a true crzed asshat Sheen really is. He even attacked his own dad who was trying to defend him. Sheen’s reputation is so screwed that the Los Angeles Times is reporting that Sheen’s long time publicist Stan Rosenfeld who stuck with him through a nasty divorce, an arrest, court room visits, and an alleged drug fueled rampage in Aspen has run for the hills and resigned. When your publicist decides to give up mountains of cash to defend you, you are hopelessly fucked because everyone in Hollywood is cash whore and no one in Hollywood turns down big money. It just isn’t done. Rosenfeld just did. Who wants to be Sheen’s new publicity dude? Well TMZ is reporting that none other than former King of the Hollywood Asshats and Douchebags Spencer Pratt (Sheen just stole his title), formerly of the estrogen fest “The Hills” reality TV show. Pratt said he would work for free. As TMZ reports, it truly would be the blind leading the blind.


For the record, I do not have a problem with the hookers and drugs. Who knows, if I had that kind of easy huge money coming my way, I might do the same. What I do have a problem with is letting YOUR drug problems interfere with your contractual obligations to do your fucking job. You see, when a giant of an asshole like Charlie Sheen stops working and goes into rehab, all the little guys who work paycheck to paycheck like the lighting guys, sound guys, electrical guys, production assistants, caterers, writers, editors, production designers, etc. all lose work and their jobs and quite possibly lose their homes and make it that much harder to put food on the table for their kids in this horrible economy. All because what? Because Charlie Sheen wants to sit his withered old ass on a pile of coke and get blow jobs from porn stars in his mansion? It’s total bullshit.

To make matters even worse, The New York Post is reporting that Charlie Sheen is going to sue CBS, Warner Bros. and producer Chuck Lorrie because they canceled the rest of the season and he wants his pay plus money for “mental anguish”. The amount? A reported $320 million! Is he out of his fucking mind? Does he realize that he broke HIS contract when he let his drug addiction take him to rehab instead of work? Warner Bros and CBS should be suing Sheen for all the mountains of cash they are losing because that asshat. Besides that show has kid actors on the set. Who the hell wants the liability of having Charlie Sheen around them? I hope the law firm that is filing this nonsense goes out of business. The big heroes are Chuck Lorrie and Warner Bros. because TMZ is reporting that they are paying all the crew full wages for the entire season even though it has been cancelled. I have never seen any entity in Hollywood be this generous but my hat (err…baseball cap) is off to Lorrie and Warner Bros. Talk about standing up for the little guy and finally taking a stand to crush the hooker slobbered balls of an egotistical asswipe like Charlie Sheen.

Oh Shizzle's List of the Best Internet Sites and the Site To Watch in 2011

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World's Sexist Reporter: Inez Sainz

The World's Hottest Sports Reporter is...Inez Sainz. The Mexican Axteca TV reporter is super hot and has one of the best asses you will ever see on a woman. Sure there was that flap this year about some NY Jets football players cat-calling her during her interview with quarterback Mark Sanchez but let's face it, dudes are going to notice a woman with spectacular cleavage and an ass like that. Peep the most downloaded ass in the history of sports reporting on the internet EVER!!!

Inzez Sainz: The best booty ever photographed in a pair of jeans EVER!!!!

Erin Andrews who?! Seriously, Inez is ridiculously off the charts hot. This woman is married with three kids and STILL has the sexiest body in the sports reporting world. You go girl! Oh and did I mentioned she also has a Master Degree? And I love that sexy latin accent. Brains, beauty, sexy attitude...she's all that and a bag of chips!



All I got to say is Daaaammnnnnn!!!!!!

Oh Shizzle! Announces: SEARCH FOR THE BEST BOOTY IN THE WORLD

Without a doubt in my book, the sexiest body part of a woman is her ass. Nothing beats a great ass.  You can always buy a great set of boobs but never an ass. A great ass is a holy union of genetics, diet and a great workout program.

I am starting a multi-post search for The Best Booty In The World. This is a women's only search - sorry dudes, I don't want to see your ass no matter how many squats you have done.  If you think you have a great ass, please submit your pics for consideration to ohshizzleblog@gmail.com. I will be posting pics of great asses I see over the Internet because like all dudes, I like to look at great asses and my readers love 'em too.  However, the actual contest is for real woman who sends us a recent photo taken in the last 60 days from today's date and can prove it (take a pic with a newspaper or recent magazine), I will give $100.00 (U.S.) to the real woman winner who submits a picture(s) to the email address above.  The butt pics don't have to be professional pics and no Photo shopped pics please.  The contest will start today and end on January 30, 2011. The winner will be announced on Valentines Day, February 14, 2011. Hey, if you have a great ass and spend all that time in the gym, why not submit a quick pic and see if you can win a $100.

The pics below are not official contest pics but are great asses nonetheless. The pics below are the winner and finalists of the American Apparel's "Best Bottom In The World" competition which was completed in February of 2010.

The Winner of  the American Apparel ccompetition this year was "Boom Boom" from Santo Domingo and her pic is below. Nice ass but I do see some stretch marks on that last booty and seriously don't understand how you beat out the women who placed 2nd and 3rd.

The 2nd place finisher in the American Apparel competition was Marie from Austin. Now that is an ass! Perfect 10's all across the board on the pic below. A key benchmark in a perfect ass is that you can place a pencil right under the ass cheek and it won't hold because the booty is so perfectly round there is no fat fold for the pencil to be held up by. I have a feeling that woman like Marie don't have great sex lives. Not because they are not hot, which they obviously are, but if she were to take off her panties and reveal that ass most guys just might blow their load right there. Her ass is that good!

The 3rd place finisher in that American Apparel competition also had an ass every bit as good as Marie's. Check out Mira from Chicago. Even with this pic being taken from a camera phone, her ass is pure bubble but perfection. Mira's ass could be the best ass I have ever seen in my life. It just does not get better than this. Perfectly round. It meets the pencil test. No stretch marks or cellulite. Just pure goodness...err greatness in the great ass world.

This contest was awesome because the 3rd place finisher was great but even the 4th place finisher would have the best ass in the room literally anywhere.  Check out Stepho from Los Angeles. Just great stuff there. Women dream of having an ass and legs like this and guys dream of having a woman with an ass and legs like that.

Bring up the rear, pun intended, in 5th place goes to "Donk" from Van City wherever that is. Yet another really nice ass. With her teeny tiny waist and that nice round firm greatness, this woman would blow you away in a thong bikini at the beach. Thongs were made for asses like this.

So ladies, if you think you have a great booty send in your booty pics to Oh Shizzle! now and take a crack at that $100.00.

Most Talented Artist Alive Cee-Lo Green Gets 4 Grammy Nominations! Fuck You Haters!

Cee-Lo Green is the most talented and original artist alive. There, I said it! When I saw the video for his mega-hit "Fuck You", I thought to myself - Holy fuck! That is the best fucking song I have heard in fucking years and fuck everyone who does not agree with that fucking statement. I watch that fucking "Fuck You" video like a fucking mental patient.



Well apparently the Recording Academy agreed with me. Cee-Lo Green's "Fuck You" was awarded a jaw-dropping four fucking Grammy nominations for the following categories: Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Urban / Alternative Performance, and finally Best Short Form Music Video.

As funny as it sounds to award a song called "Fuck You" so many accolades, the song really is great. It is honest, real, raw and everyone gets it...well....except the FCC. The song itself reminds you of the great classic R&B Motown songs with real back-up singers and a chorus - amazing when compared to the crap music of today everyone else is putting out. It simply sounds great - real music. The video itself is fun and creative. I truly have not seen a music video this well produced, creative and fun since the early MTV days in the 80's. I hope it wins in every category but at minimum it should win best video. I like many of the nominees he is going up against but none of them are truly original. They are talented and I like their music but they are NOT original and add nothing to today's music other than big revenue figures for record labels.

Cee-Lo Green is a creative game-changer that takes risks. Search YouTube for his videos and try to categorize his music. You can't. He'll even mix genres in the same song and if you are not paying attention, you will think someone changed your music when you weren't looking. Check out songs with hard rap beats like "Glockapella",  or hits like "What Part of Forever" which is a rock song and sounds like a white guy from Orange County, California would sing in a club, and then when the What-The-Fuck moment has not hit yet, you watch "Kung Fu Fighting" from the film "Kung Fu Panda" and just quietly enjoy it. Then if you still have not been quite confused enough yet about Green's music style watch his teletubby inspired video "Gettin' Down" which is a really smooth silky R&B throwback. No artist in music today takes as many creative chances with their music and videos and probably none of them have as fun as he does nor do they impact music like he does. I am a huge fan of his music and I am embarrassed to say I never heard of the guy a few months ago. We throw the word "music" around a lot to describe computer manufactured garbage. Finally the music world has a true talent that makes you fall in love with music and artistry. If there were more Cee-Lo Green's out there, record companies would not be worried about hemorraging corporate profits and listeners would not be board to death forced to settle for the same boring crap coming out on the radio.

The Recording Academy needs to send a message to all record label producers and A&R execs as well as so-called "performers" out there that the status quo has got to change. Music fans deserve true talent and artistry. Vote him Grammys across the board to force the music world into actual creativity for a change and to let performs out there know that their same old rehashed songs are not good enough anymore. These nominations are great but wins will finally put everyone on notice - be creative, have fun, and actually say something that has meaning.  Just say "Fuck You" to the status quo. Vote Cee-Lo Green.

Call of Duty: Black Ops / Kobe Bryant / Call of Booty?

Just in case you have been hiding under a rock, the biggest  video game franchise in the last decade just released it's latest edition, Call of Duty: Black Ops. The super shooter has been setting sales records with a gargantuan $360 million in revenue in just the first 24 hours. Just to put this number in perspective, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi did "only" $309 million during its entire U.S. run in theatres. COD: Black Ops crushed that in a day. Take that George Lucus and let your cuddly Ewoks smoke it!

No need to see a ton of commercials for the game because it is one of those word of mouth phenomenons that just go viral and global. But there is this hilarious COD: Black Ops video feature none other than basketball superstar Kobe Bryant and Jimmy Kimmel:
http://www.callofduty.com/media/videos?media_id=371


Also just to mention for the fun of it, there is, or course, a porn parody of Call of Duty called inappropriately enough "Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare." Yep, just gotta love the porn industry sometimes.

Some porn company has got to be working on Call of Booty: Black Cocks. I will keep you posted if I hear about it.

Heidi Montag Sex Tape Being Shopped By Epic Douchebag Spencer Pratt?

The CIA of celebrity sleeze, TMZ (bless their hearts), has reported that super sexy Heidi "Mega Mellons" Montag has a sex tape with her  soon-to-be ex-husband and 10th degree Grand Master black belt of douchebaggery Spencer Pratt. TMZ is reporting Pratt is allegedly shopping the sex tape of himself and his lovely erection magnate wife Heidi to super porn producers Vivid Entertainment. Vivid has pretty much cornered the market on celebrity home porn sex tapes distributing such noted sex tapes such as Playboy model Kendra Wilkenson, Kim Kardashian and Montana Fishborne (daughter of now not so proud father Lawrence Fishborne) who said she wanted to follow into the famous for nothing sex tape footsteps of super hottie Kim Kardashian who in turn followed the sex tape footsteps of heiress Paris Hilton who in turn followed the sex tape footsteps of Pamela Anderson who in turn followed the sex tape footsteps of your mom - yeah she made one too. I remember when actors wanted to actually act and be famous for wining Oscars and Emmys and shit. Now young ladies aspire to be acting in home porn sucking D's and taking a cum shot to the face and be famous for being famous. Ahhh. America's silly youth.

I must admit I am conflicted because despite numerous plastic surgeries, Heidi "Mega Mellons" Montag is crazy fucking hot and her titacular DDD tits set the bar for Hollywood tits.  The nocturnal emission queen has no doubt inspired thousands of teen boys to wake up to baby batter stained underoos. The bad, of course, is that she is doing the sex tape with epic douchebag Spencer Pratt who is the biggest DB in the history of Hollywood. That says something. He even had lovable "Today Show" personality Al Roker fired up to kick his ass.  Spencer Pratt is such an asswipe that he has to hide every Christmas because even Santa has a hit out on this fool. Thus my dilemma. Watching one of sexiest women in Hollwood bang versus hurling from seeing Pratt's crayon invade that fetus funnel and spew baby batter all over those hot as fuck DDD's.


The other factor to consider in terms of buying this tape is that Spencer is the king of cheese. He actually got Playboy to pony up huge bucks for Heidi Montag to do a spread with no nudity at all. What an epic letdown. It was PG-13 all the way: no tits, no ass and no vajayjay. If you are too uptight to go nude as a celebrity, you pose for Maxim, everyone knows that. Hugh Hefner has lost my respect and now I am 100% sure they will go bankrutpt with dumb ass decisions like that. So I am not sure what we will get with a Heidi Montag DB Pratt sex tape. The "sex tape" could be like the two of them in bed reading from Penthouse Stories in pajamas or something.

So let you be the judge.

Heidi Montag's DDD's are insane. That body is out of control. It's all goodness - no, greatness! But what about that ass you may ask?

This body is just about perfect.

This was the sexiest Playboy shot she did as all the rest were lingerie shots. But all I got to say is Daaaaaammmnnnn!!!!! Baby has got an ass! She's got the tits, the face... That body is like a Super Walmart, it's got everything. But every time I see this hot pic, my mind wanders to Spencer Pratt tapping the hell of that crazy hot ass and it makes me angry. He has no right to be banging a woman this hot. God has to make it up to me and let me win the lottery or something otherwise I will have to prove I am a bigger DB to get hot ass like this and choke out defenseless bunnies or something.

Just to give you an image how turned on and repulsive you can get from seeing Heidi and Spencer together peep this photo below.

No, this is not the sex tape but it could turn out like this. Here Heidi is pre-DDD boob job using what appears to be massanger on Spencer's back. Hot chick & douchebag. Yin & Yang. Turn on / turn off. It's confusing.

Since Heidi has not released her sex tape yet, I have decided to provide a photo and link to a free look at the Kendra Wilkenson Sex Tape which runs around 10 minutes. This tape features hot as fuck Kendra banging a pudgy ugly kid with an acorn sized little dick.

NSFW: Click This Link to Free Look At Kendra's Sex Tape (10 minutes)

Since we are talking about sex tapes, let's take a free quick look of 2 minutes of a good sex tape of Kim Kardashian being pounded out by Ray J (aka Brandy's brother). This is as good 

 Seriously, they can bang.

NSFW: Click Here For Free Look At Kim Kardashian Sex Tape

Just have to throw in one more picture of Kim Kardashian because she is one of the hottest women on the planet.

Alright...One more.

Want To Rise To Power? Peep These Definitive Check Lists Here!

After scouring the internet and books the world over, I have finally found the two most definitive lists to rise to power and be the person you have always wanted to be, the person you deserve to be. If you follow these lists, your global dominance begins now!

If you want to rise to power, you must be cool. See the definitive cool list below:

Once you have master the art of cool, you must acquire the elements of power to make sure you are on the right path to power and to make sure you are both nutritionally and sexually satisfied. Your definitive list here:

There you have it folks. If you follow these simple lists I am sure you will get your party's endorsement to run against Barack Obama in the 2012 elections. Good luck!

English Commuters Travel Naked To Promote New British TV Series

Well this fits into the "Now I've Seen Everything" category. Four people, two men and two women, traveled the London subway system known as the London Underground completely nude (well except for shoes) to promote a new English television series called "The Naked Office". It's about staff at struggling businesses trying to turn their company around much to the shock and amazement of local commuters. I get the "naked" part of the promotion but they are nowhere near the "office" but I like their enthusiam and I respect it.  I think the lazy American network public relations executives need to get off their collective asses and follow the English model. The English outlawed slavery 100 years before America did and now they are leading the way on using nudity to promote a TV series. Come America. Quit slacking!

Read the full story in the Mail Online here.

The look on the woman on the right in the first pic below is priceless. The fake "+2's" on the hot naked woman at the top left is also priceless. Damn she is hot!

Seeing two hot naked blondes boarding a subway never happens to me. Even though the chick on the right needs to tightening up those thighs it is still cool to see naked blondes.

Doesn't London have cops on their subway system? How in the hell did they get away with this?

This campaign effort could have been improved by leaving out the naked dudes and bringing in more chicks.

The New Miss USA Rima Fakih Also Won A Stripper Contest!!!

I think it is so funny that all these pageant contests try to make their contest winners out to be so damn wholesome then you find out they have this wild past that no one knew about except all the dudes they banged, drank with  and did drugs with at local nightclubs and bars. Well scandal has once again reared its glorious head again in connection with a beautity contest. The insanely beautiful Rima Fakih of Michigan was crowned Miss USA last night and became the first immigrant, the first Muslim-American and the first Arab American to win the title. The 23 year old stunner is also the first Miss USA to have won a stripper contest! Nice!

TMZ has been all over this story so it won't go away until it is announced that Miss Fakih will lose the crown or pagent officials, i.e. Donald Trump, decides she can keep it. Detroit radio station WQKI held a 2007 "Stripper 101" pole dancing contest and Miss USA Rima Fakih emerged victorious. When it comes to sex appeal this woman has got it down pat. Well at least we know she will have a promising career on the stripping circuit when she eventually has to give the crown up by either serving the 1 year tour of duty "under" Mr. Trump or having to give it up early (the title that is). Hey, star strippers on the pole tour can earn $10,000 a week and she would have an easy 6-figure Playboy payday assignment in any event so there is not real downside for Ms. Fakih even if she gets the boot.

Check out the wonderful pics of our new Miss USA winner below!

Look at how wholesome and beautiful she looks with new boss Donald Trump. Ahhhhhh!!!!

Good lord this woman has a bangin' ass body. Not an ounce of fat on that gloriously carved frame. But still manages to look ever so wholesome.

WTF!!! Oh snap! Our girl Miss USA is on the get down! Stripper shoes on - check. Legs spead wiiiide open - check. Straight up moving like a hoe - check. No wonder she won this pole dancing contest. I am just surprised she is not shooting ping pong balls out of her vajayjay.

Miss USA Rima Fakih is getting down! I thought Muslim women were supposed to be all demure and shit. If this is the way the modern Muslim woman behaves all I have to say is - Book me a plane to Iran asap!!! Brings on the burka bitches!

Our victorious pole dancing champ emerges victorious with the win and a bra stuffed full of cash! Nothin' says class better than having money coming out of your tits. What is she holding? All I can tell is that it has an image of a woman on a pole on it. Was that the trophy? Anyway, you go girl! Something tells me we just might be seeing this hottie in the Craigslist adult section very soon.